Having been a teenager once in her life, and now a mother to two daughters, Anne Nicomedes-Esteban now wants to share with young people what are the things she learned from being on both sides of the fence.
Anne is an artis, entrepreneur and food enthusiast who also occasionally “ponders about the profound and sometimes unusual things about life.” To read more of her writing, visit her blogs The Rare Occasions and Will Write For Food
Now that I have two daughters, I feel like the mysterious door of the adult perspective has been opened to me and revealed a whole new world of wisdom that was simply beyond me during my youth. Everything my parents and elder friends told me before that sounded killjoy, narrow-minded and inconsiderate now actually makes sense. Yet, I still understand why I thought what I thought before. The sentiments that I held before still hold value for me. I just see now the gap that keeps these two generations apart in their thought.
So being here in this unusually eye-opening boundary, here are the insights I learned. I posted the insights I want to share with the elder sector in a previous blog entry. But here, I’m talking to the youth. Yes you.
1. Your parents, however killjoy, annoying, inconsiderate, irritable, selfish and boring in their perspective and choices, being a parent myself, I now see that they want only the best for you. I know, I know, you’ve heard that like countless times but guess what? It’s true! And there is no other way to put it.
2. Please forgive your parents for not understanding you. You know adults are faced with pressures, demands and responsibilities that occupy too much of their minds. Even if they become hurtful, they don’t mean for things to be like that.
3. When you are young, you see the adults as your heroes whether it be your college secretary, your Sunday School teacher or your grandmother. However, they are also human who make mistakes. Sometimes, they come to a point when they are depressed but they are just hiding it from you. Sometimes they don’t tell you that they were betrayed by a co-worker, or is struggling to keep their marriage working, or is drowning in debt from a failed business, or desperately lonely for a companion. Many, many things that unfortunately, time has not allowed you to understand YET. So when adults seem to be acting unreasonably, there might be a slight chance that they are struggling to keep their heads above the water themselves.
4. Do not be too proud. I know that you think you know what you are doing. You think you got it all figured out. Well, I thought so too. So believe me, if you want to be spared from feeling utterly stupid after getting out of your crazy teenage years, if you do not want to be ridden with ugly regrets, you gotta have a teachable heart and admit that you are not as wise as you thought you were. Listen to your parents and mentors. Why is that?
5. Your parents were also teenagers. They also did practical jokes to their teachers, had catfights and messy brawls. They also made a mistake in choosing their college course and their first girlfriend. They were also unsure of who they were (heck, some of us are still unsure of ourselves after all these years!) and struggled to belong. They also spent lonely moments crying and mourning over horrendously wrong and irreparable decisions borne out of the stubbornness they had when they were your age. Many adults I know made a lot of mess during their youth that is why they can say what they are saying to you right now. It will be wise if you pause and give your parents’ advice some careful thought.